While I try not to live in the past, I believe it's important to look back to see how far we've come. Especially in hard times. On days where we're questioning everything. Days where nothing seems to be going right. Days where we consider quitting all together. But then I look back and remember where I used to be, and suddenly it puts everything in a different light.
Seven years ago I was working in a job that I hated.
And when I say hated, I mean I let it effect everything about my life. My relationships, my friendships, my attitude, my health. I don't like to say that I hated my life, but it's really not far from the truth.
Last week, it popped up on my time hop that six years ago I left that job (for another one, but one step closer to where I was supposed to be). And I couldn't help but message my old supervisor and reminisce a little bit about that job and why I hated it so much.
I worked in a place void of color. Void of character. Void of light and animation. It was awful. And every day that I walked into that place, I felt like another little piece of me died.
I remember one day in particular. The older man who used to run the company (it had since been passed down to his son) came in and complained that I had too many colors on my desk. I had purchased Lilly Pulitzer folders to brighten up my mundane desk and had some colorful frames to help bring some light into my very grey cubicle. And I just felt defeated. I felt like I couldn't win and like I was suffocating myself for a job that I hated for no particular reason other than to pay for an apartment I hated that was far away from my family.
This is just one of many, many stories I could tell you about this place. I could honestly write a book.
Luckily, I had a boss who was amazing. I truly believe she was the reason I was brought to that job; to meet her and to learn from her. She taught me so much and I left as a more inspired and professional person because of her, despite how awful it was.
After that less than colorful day, I told her about what happened and just how awful it made me feel, and while she continued to encourage me, it wasn't in the way you would think. She encouraged me to continue to work hard and do good at my job, but to imagine what life would be like outside of those grey boxes. To work hard to be able to work in an office with a corner desk and a window (yea....we barely had windows in that office....they were tiny slits in in the walls). To work hard to be able to do what I wanted to and to be my own boss where I could have things as colorful as I wanted them to be.
Those memories feel like so long ago. Like a lifetime ago. And looking back, it reminds me that even my worst day of working for myself when I want to quit is better than my best day in that job.
Even though there are ways I feel that I could do better and things I want to improve about myself and my business (hello comparison trap!), I remind myself of how far I've come in those past seven years and that where I am is MORE than enough.
And now, as I wake up and walk the 30 steps to my office in my yoga pants, I look around my bright, beautiful office full of things that I purchased all on my own and then out my window at my dog playing in the back yard, it makes me feel truly blessed and amazed at how far I come. It reminds me to be thankful of what I have and appreciate where I am and not to look at others with envy and jealousy, but with appreciation that they too have had an incredible and amazing journey.
So wherever you are in that journey, now that you can do it. There is a path just for you and don't let what others tell you or what others are doing affect you- keep being the beautiful, colorful you.
Happy Monday, Ya'll!