You may or may not have noticed but I haven't blogged in a while. Or actually been on Instagram either. Or Facebook. Or any Social Media for Twila that required thought. I just...couldn't. First, I was so inundated with other things going on, and second, I just couldn't post or be honest in my posts without admitting that I was in over my head.
I took on too much. I kept trying to say no, but would feel awful about turning someone down, feeling like I would be letting them down.
So I got burnt out. Like REALLY burnt out. I was beyond mentally exhausted. It was awful. So awful that I kept making mistakes that should have never been made. I lost my attention to detail and my focus. I dropped the ball on things that I said yes to. I forgot things. I had no time for me.
As a small business owner, there's a lot of pressure. It's not just being overwhelmed by the projects I have, but by it's also overwhelming to feel the standards by which I feel like I have to hold myself in the industry (the blogging, the social media, the constant need to be available an out there) and the never ending list of things that need to get done just for my business. It's a never ending list.
The whole reason I started this business was to be able to use my creativity to serve others. But my creativity was so drained because I was trying to be and do some many other things. I lost sight of why I was even in business and it made me question everything.
Remember at the beginning of the year I made my word of the year 'Nourishment?" Well, that's what I need to remind myself. If we don't nourish ourselves, we'll drain ourselves out. I wish I could say it gets easier the longer we're in business, but the truth it, it still happens.
So, I closed my computer. I turned off my email. And I let myself be bored. I literally laid on the couch, or in the sun, played games on my phone, spent way too much time on Facebook, and watched mindless television for 3 days.
And it was glorious.
It felt so good to just let it all go for a few days and just be me. Not a small business owner. Not a graphic designer. Not a creator. Just plain old me who likes to play Candy Crush and watch Law & Order.
And today, I'm feeling better than ever. I'm ready to tackle my projects with a fresh mind, and I'm excited to be back in my office getting things done.